Who You Are – or Who You’re Being?

The other day, I had a coffee date (virtual, of course) with my friend Cary. Her full name is “my friend Cary who does all the things” – when I met her, she had 2 businesses and was starting a 3rd, a community for local solo-preneurs and small business owners. This community turned out to be a lifesaver for me, and so has Cary. We should all have at least one of these people in our lives…take a second and be thankful for yours!

Back to the coffee date…we were just chatting in general about the state of things, catching up on life, and bouncing around ideas and concerns about her non-profit and my new business launch. I said something that I later realized has been an unformed thought in my subconscious, maybe for years:

“I don’t think I’m really being the person I actually am. Like, who I am isn’t who I am BE-ing right now.” 

I usually give myself points for being articulate, but this wasn’t one of those times, so I’ll go a little deeper…I think I’ve been using the whole #quarantine and #pandemic situation to wallow, and to stay stuck where I am. It’s almost been a subconscious choice – everything feels harder right now so maybe everything IS harder, and therefore I don’t have to conquer anything or do hard stuff because everything is hard enough. Right?


The irony is, I have mentored so many people out of this type of mindset over the years, so when I caught myself in it, I felt totally busted. I’m cheating myself out of what is meant for me – growth, prosperity, the ability and opportunity to help others – and for what? Fear? Laziness? Any number of other weird subconscious reasons? When we do this, we rob ourselves (and the people who need to hear our message) of what we’re here to do, even if we aren’t 100% clear on what that is. It can’t unfold unless you let it…it won’t grow if it’s not tended. Insert any other “if you ignore it, it won’t happen” cliches here.

Cary’s response? “Thank you for not making me say what I was thinking I needed to say to you.” Boom. Also, ouch.

So now what? As my husband would say, “plan your work and work your plan.” Again, something I’m great at helping others do, but get tripped up trying to do for myself…so I’ll start with an intention:

“Today and every day, I will feel into the best version of myself, and do everything I can to present her to the world.”

Not every day will be about bold steps, but some days have to be, and I am worthy to take those steps. (That’s the other mantra – I am worthy. Un-Worthy sneaks into life in tricky ways, which I’ll write more about later, but don’t be fooled! )

Now then…let’s begin. Now. Begin.

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